If You Haven't Figured Out What You're Thankful for This November, I Can Help With That.

        There's a lot of things to be thankful for this Thanksgiving season. Family, friends, pets, our homes, etc. But recently, I've become very, very thankful for something I've previously been taking for granted. TOILET PAPER!! Guys, you have no idea how lucky we are to have those soft little two ply squares of cleanliness. Please look at this brief history of how derriere business occurred in the past:

-The rich might use a soft material, the poor would go in the river and use water, or moss, seashells, basically whatever was around. Wheeeeee!

-In good ol' ancient Rome, a sponge on the end of a stick was kept in a bucket of salt water. So the next time someone says, " Do as the Romans do," You say NO!

-The ancient Greeks used clay or stones. Comfy.

-In the Middle East, even oftentimes today the left hand is used and then  thoroughly washed.

-People who lived in colder areas would use clumps of snow. Cold, and don't eat the yellow snow?

-The Chinese, of course, had it all figured out early on and used paper, which the Middle Easterners did not consider sanitary.

-Fellow Americans, here's our story: Corncobs, and for those who could afford it, pages from the Sears-Roebuck catalogue, or the Farmer's Almanac. In the late 1800's, Joseph Gayetty and the Scott Brothers started selling toilet paper, which apparently had the occasional splinter...

-We didn't get splinter free until 1935.

So the next time you think you don't have anything to be thankful for, be thankful for this. TP. And a splinter free rear. You're welcome.